The signals that women send are often complex and difficult to interpret, so we wrote this guide on how to tell if a girl likes you. It is usually the boys who initiate the courtship, while the girls decide whether to accept or reject the advances. While we share this way of courting with other mammals, this process is a little more nuanced in mankind.
Men are expected to make the first move, such as saying hello, making conversation, asking a woman out, etc. But in reality, girls give early signs of whether she likes her, and you need to keep talking to her, or if she doesn’t like you about her and you need to get stuck. In other words, girls decide if and when men can make romantic advances.
How to know if a girl likes you?
Men who do not understand this dynamic find themselves labeled as weird and clumsy at best, and at worst, they are seen as creeps who make unwanted advances.
Even when a guy becomes aware of this dynamic, however, there’s a good chance he won’t have the ability to pick up on the subtle cues that a girl likes you and that you need to get a move on.
Many young people have heard at least once in their life: “I have sent you so many signals! How could you not know I liked you? “
Sometimes a guy is lucky and eventually, he realizes that there is an interest on her part, but only because the girl is patient and persistent. Other times, however, what may have been your one and only chance ends up eluding you.
If you’ve had a hard time figuring out if a girl likes you and you need to keep flirting with her, below we explain the signs you need to pay attention to.
How to tell if a girl likes you: the basic signs
You’ve probably read articles online where the author provides a list of body language cues girls use to let you know they’re attracted to you. While it’s easy to ridicule lists like these, research suggests they actually have some foundation.
Psychologist Monica Moore spent a few months observing over 200 single women at parties, bars, clubs and restaurants. From her observations of hers, she has discovered more than 52 things girls do when they are attracted to a guy. They don’t necessarily have to do them all, or in any particular order, to indicate interest; some girls have a tendency to flirt. However, the more of these cues you present, the more likely a girl is to like you.
Of the 52 signs, Moore saw 12 most frequently:
- He smiles at you
- Send short glances towards you when you are away
- She looks away, blushing when you look at her
- Maintains prolonged eye contact with you
- She runs her fingers through her hair
- He bites/licks his lips
- He exposes his neck
- Lean your head towards you
- It is completely turned towards you
- Lightly touches you on the arm or shoulder
- She often laughs when you talk to her
- Caress an object in his hands
Among the dozen above, the most common signs a girl likes are smiling, sustained eye contact, and/or repeated glances at you when you’re away.
Important rule: these signals must be contextualized
Now there will be guys who will memorize a list like this by heart, and whenever he sees a girl showing one of these signs, he will immediately assume that she is sexually attracted to him.
In fact, studies have shown that many men struggle when it comes to interpreting social cues, especially sexual ones.
These signals are complex and very subtle. You must try to interpret them in the context in which they are sent to you.
You must first establish the baselines of what is normal and then look for anomalies.
Example: If an attractive bank teller looks you in the eye and smiles, she probably does it because she tries to provide good customer service and not because she wants you to hit on her.
The basic behavior in this situation is that all bank tellers look people in the eye, smile, and have a friendly chat.
An anomaly would be if the bank teller flirted, touching her hair, stroking her body and smiling more than she should. This would indicate possible interest.
Likewise, if a woman at work touches your arm, don’t assume she wants to have children with you. She just might be super friendly and outgoing. This is her normal behavior.
But if a girl isn’t normally super friendly and open to people, she is with you. Well, this is an anomaly that indicates a possible attraction.
Another important rule: a one-time signal is not an indefinite green light – keep observing.
Receiving signs of interest from a girl doesn’t automatically mean she wants to sleep with you. It just means that she has an initial attraction towards you and is open to your first step. It could be a conversation, a dance, or you ask her out. Nothing more.
So you ask her for her phone number and set up an exit. At the appointment, talk and get to know each other better. If she likes what she feels and senses that attraction is being created between the two of you, she will continue to give you the above signals.
She’ll also let you know that she’s open to a second date, and she may not even be subtle about it: she’ll most likely say (or write) “That was fun” or “I really enjoyed myself tonight.”
Then you will fix another exit. If the date goes well, she may send you additional signals and be open to some physical intimacy, getting as close to you as possible without making direct physical contact. Then you will initiate this contact by taking her hand, going all the way to the kiss at the end of the date.
This dance goes on with increasing signs on your part and overt interest on your part until you are married with 2-5 children. Or break up by date five because she’s cute, but man, she’s a freaky freak.
How to tell if you don’t like a girl
As important as knowing what signs a girl likes you is knowing the body language cues that mean she’s not interested in you.
In addition to documenting the signs that a woman was interested in a man, Moore’s study also recorded the signs that she is not interested in. If you walk up to a girl and she doesn’t look you in the eye while trying to have a polite conversation, she isn’t interested. If she walks away from you, she rolls her eyes, yawns, or starts talking to someone else. She’s not interested.
Don’t assume I’m being difficult. She just doesn’t like you. And don’t think you can influence her with some stupid towing technique you read somewhere. It won’t work, and you’ll come out of it as a desperate and creepy type.
When you are undecided: use the Brad Pitt rule
If you can’t figure out if a girl actually likes you or not, the only way to get rid of the doubt is to ask her out.
When you invite her out, keep the stakes low, such as going out for coffee. If she says “yes,” then she likes you or at least she is open to the possibility of a romantic relationship with you.
If she says no and she justifies herself by saying that she has something else to do, then use Brad Pitt’s rule to determine whether she is actually interested in you or not.
If you’re new to the Brad Pitt Rule, here’s a quick rundown:
Imagine that, in your place, Brad Pitt asked this same girl out. Would she use the same excuse with him? If Brad Pitt had asked her on a date, would she still have said that she had to study or that she would go to the movies with her friends that night? No. She was going to drop pretty much everything and everyone so she could go on a date with Brad.
You’re not Pitt now, of course. But if a girl is interested in you, she will abandon her other plans of her to be available to date you.
Of course, there are exceptions; the girl may have a legitimate reason for not being able to make an appointment. She maybe she has to work or go to a funeral. But here’s the catch: If she’s interested in going out with you, she’ll suggest a different time for the date. She will say something like, “This Saturday morning I can’t, but I should be there next Saturday.”
If she makes up an excuse and doesn’t suggest an alternative plan, she just doesn’t like you.
If you don’t want to quit without insisting at least a little, it’s okay to ask him again a couple of weeks later. But if you still get a no, then move on and move on. There is much other fish in the sea.
Figuring out if a girl likes you is a tricky business. You will probably take a few missteps, but as long as you act like a gentleman, you shouldn’t feel too embarrassed when faced with rejection.
Be aware of the signals a girl can send if she’s interested in you, but consider them in the context in which you receive them.
Finally, don’t assume she’s ready to come to your house just because she’s sending you signs of attraction.
Remember: her initial attraction simply means that she is open to hanging out with you to get to know you better. Keep watching for the signs to see if and when to make your next move.